Sensitive soul

I have been put in my place the last couple of days. Let me give you some back round before I tell the whole story. I have always thought Samantha to be a strong -willed child. Even more then the rest. Stubborn, hard-headed... you know where I am going. But I have had a few people tell me that she really wasn't. That she is a follower. That she will give in quickly. I just assumed it was because she acted differently with mom and dad. Not so...

The other day, I had a video on. And in this story, a little girl was just scolded and left the room. She goes on a balcony and starts crying. Bring in the sad music. I didn't think much of it... that is until I looked at my daughter. There, watching very quietly, Samantha had tears running down her cheeks. Tears! I could not believe it. My mind scrambled. How could a 2 year old possibly get this? She must be hurt, or her eyes are watery. I approached her. She went on to tell me that she was crying because the girl wanted a mommy. (She was an orphan.)

A few days later, she saw this other cartoon (no, we don't watch videos all day...) where a little boy kicked his friend b/c he was mad. I looked over at her again, and tears were rolling down her sweet cheeks. She proceeded to tell me (with hesitation) that she was crying because the boy kicked his friend.

My daughter has a tender heart. And is very sensitive. I have been approaching her in the wrong way her whole life. It just hit me. The Lord has been dealing with me and my anger issues. I have a lot of anger and for reasons I will not delve into, the issues have been there for years, just now surfacing. But does that make it right? NO! I do not want to crush my little girl's spirit and wound her with my harshness. And this week I have been brought to my knees.

Just one more story to get my point across. We had just come home from grocery shopping. Always stressful and exhausting. Not that the girls are bad. I am just not good with a lot of things coming at me at once. So kids talking, plus remembering my grocery list, and getting out snacks... yadda....yadda...

So we get in the house and I snapped at Samantha. She looked at me with her big, chocolate eyes and said, " Mommy, why are you so mad.?" How could I not just break down then. I got on my knees and hugged her. I apologized, even though I don't know how much that meant to her, I needed to.

Ephesians 4:32 Says, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted..." That is my daughter. She is teaching me. Please pray for me that I can "get it together". I know the Lord can grant me this, I just need some self control.